Number Cruncheer

The Number Cruncher came to town
and ate the Zeros first.
He chewed them well and washed them down
with Ones: to quench his thirst.

He gobbled Twos and Threes and Fours
and did not take a break.
He crunched the Fives with hungry roars
which made the houses shake.

He munched the Sixes with great haste
and gave a mighty burp.
He liked the number Sevens' taste:
he downed them with a slurp!

He ate the Eights and every Nine,
but then the Cruncher stopped.
For that was it, and he felt fine.
So off to sleep he dropped.

Without our numbers we were lost.
We'd go into a store
but would not know how much things cost:
the price tags were no more!

And when we heard the town clock chime,
it was no use to stare,
since who could ever tell the time,
the dial being bare?

Alas!  No work was being done.
The workers were afraid:
"Where are the numbers? There are none!
We won't be getting paid."

If someone had to go someplace,
they left the way they came.
You should have seen that person's face —
all doors appeared the same.

And no more bridges could be built:
we could not calculate
the width, the length, the height, the tilt,
the arches and the weight.

You could not use the telephone
to call a distant friend.
And everyone felt so alone:
when was this going to end?

No birthdays could we celebrate:
the calendar was blank.
We'd be too early or too late.
From this our spirits sank.

And no one knew how long a trip
might take.  A day?  A Year?
By plane? By car? By train? By ship?
the distance was unclear.

The temperature was now unknown:
how hot it was or cold.
So all thermometers were thrown
right out: both new and old.

But then one day, a little boy
got all the numbers back.
He tricked the Cruncher with a ploy
by offering a snack.

"If you return them all to me,
you'll get a better treat."
The silly Cruncher said with glee:
"A better treat I'll eat!"

When all the numbers were spat out,
the boy held up a book.
"These letters are without a doubt
quite tasty: have a look."

The Cruncher ate from A to K.
He liked the D the best.
The boy exclaimed, "I've saved the day!"
and headed home to rest.

But when the letters in the book
were eaten and all gone,
ten thousand books the Cruncher took
and gorged himself till dawn.

And then he got the magazines,
the papers and the signs.
Unless somebody intervenes,
he'll surely eat these lines!