Willing despite your will

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Hey there! How`s life? How`re you there?
I guess, you find it out enough colorful…
To feel happy through the pain.

Pain from the heart
Hearing from the past,
Pain from the mind:
Feelings are too blust!
Cause` you can`t handle it
As good as you want, but
If you try to change it
You can miss your part;
And your small infinite love
Slowly falling apart.

I guess, this is pretty familiar to you...
To make a step up again
And some more steps down,
Your heart pounds as hell
And you can feel it as well.
But you continue testing your limits.
You play.

I can`t be humble
If last thought is mine;
My mum taught me this thing,
That`s the reason I cannot be blind.
That`s why I still go on trying,
Testing myself and person`s curiosity...

Making a decision about stepping out
Isn`t for me: I know it`s not my time.
I believe I can get higher. I won.
I won not cause` I ran a mile,
But cause` I set the fire.
I live and learn, I`m done!
I am fine with it.
I can`t miss it!I must try!
I know, I must try!