Did you ever get to know me?

Love was pulled out of my heart
Painful extractions shuddered my body
Now I know…
I know how it feels to be breathless,
To be suffocated by your ignorance

Alone on the roof terrace
Smoking at night
Smoking as if it could provide me clarity
And sipping sake as if it could ever soothe the pain
My hand is sharing
In denial it must be
no longer it would belong to you

I wanted to be happy with you,
but there was too much of you,
and barely any of me
Lonely unwanted and small
Just like our marriage.
Where did I disappear to?

I got tired of entertaining myself
tired of asking
asking you to notice me.
You know how much I loathe asking anything,
anything and anyone,
especially those who ought to be offering

I was hurt before
But I have never felt so utterly crashed
Like I did by your rejection
You treated me like you would treat a child,
you looked at me as if you could not see me.
Was my love too selfless?
Or was I too forgiving?