***

I don't think I could ever write a book. It's not that I'm not sure about my writing skills, it's just that I don't know who to write yet. I often catch myself feeling frustrated while reading. I'm not the one who likes to judge people, but when it comes to books' characters, who are not certain human beings, but abstract figures or even portarits of  sertain types of people, that's when I allow myself a little judging and don't consider it something wrong. I believe I can judge three things in this world: my own behavior, books's characters behaviour and poiticians professional behaviour.
So, when I read and judge characters and the way they act, feel, talk and think, I feel frustration as a result of those observations. Yes, that would be correct - I don't really judge, I obsreve and get certain feelings from it. I was trying to analyze it - why do I feel so terrible abour certain characters, why do I feel bored or sad or angry when I read about them. And I realized one day. Thing is - many of them act and think too dramatically. They don't want drama mostly, but many of them act like they do. And I hate all this. I hate the destructuive nature of behavior that many of the caracters carry. Maybe I'm angry because real people do the same, some of them at least. Maybe I'm angry because I almost became one of those people. Good thing is, I was able to recognize it as soon as it started to happen and still try to stop it. And the universe won't abandon me in my utter desire to fight the desructive side of human nature, I hope it won't.
But until then I will read and get angry but that's alright - being angry with the flaws is , in my opinion, a sign if recognition. And recognizing a problem is the first step towards the solution of it.