Reality check

Christmas, 6 pm, deafening squeak of rails under the speeding weight of compartements
A woman was carrying nine white roses going somewhere to the bottom of the orange line
Perhaps to give them to her daughter unhappily married with two children and an alcoholic husband practicing domestic violence
Or a female accountant friend with obesity of fifty six years twenty years with no promotion
The roses dropped a few leaves and a white petal which were instantly stepped on by a dozen of feet and smashed into a muddy substance
The woman jumped up to get off, lingered for a moment dropping a look on the pile of green as if hesitating to pick it up but rushed out of the compartement
A toddler was sitting beside his stout mother who was wearing a thick fur coat each hair bloodish in beams from the dim light of fluorescent lamps
The toddler was chewing on a half of a loaf of  bread dropping crumbs and pieces of crust on the floor
Right into what used to be leaves and a petal
A legless man in an army coat wheeled along the compartment over the leaves the petal the crumbs the mud and people's feet praying for coins
The toddler traced his figure with his eyes as it wheeled pathetically along
A  sparkle of astonishment and bewilderment was born and died in his look and the little human resumed chewing
A young girl fixed a river of her long silk-like hair with a long mincing gesture seeking male attention
But all she got was YOU UNDERAGED SHAMELESS WHORE  from a crazy old crooked woman
A gum and several tears of saliva dropped from her mouth and landed beside the leaves the petal and the crumbs right next to my boot
A big black lather boot - one steady reassuring thing in this rapidly flying along the rails metal monster of a compartment
I am tired of observing it makes me want to vomit
So I'm just sitting eyes staring blankly on a scar-shaped hole in black leather
Trying not to stare at the pile of shame right next to it
Avoiding meeting this flat metaphor
Avoiding meeting the reality
But then I remember an artist never averts their eyes
So I make myself
Stare straight in the face of the reality
It's totally unamendably incurably painfully
Hopeless