S. Slepakov - Purely Hypotetically

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUovGLdse9w

Dialog of Husband and wife (Purely hypothetically)

[Husband]
Oh, my darling, our marriage is such a special thing.
It's a Holy Alliance of hearts that will never fail.
But the science already proved that for human being
Polygamy is in the nature of every male.
No, it doesn't mean that I ever cheated or so.
You have always been the only love to me.
But because of the simple fact that I've mentioned before,
Without making a fuss, please, imagine this:

Purely hypothetically,
Imagine the situation, when
In sauna, theoretically,
With friends someday I will find myself

And I will be, hypothetically,
A little bit under influence
Of alcohol, being drunk as hell,
Like, you know, I am periodically,

And, purely hypothetically,
Yes, very much hypothetically,
A woman there also will be —
A classical ancient professional

And after a drink she will start to move
Extraordinally erotically,
And that will suddenly make to groove
My phallic device that belongs to you,

So that complicated circumstance,
Of course, only hypothetically,
Will stop me from being anchored to
My physical loyalty, darling, to you,

And I will be forced to perform with her
A number of fast acrobatic tricks,
With no romantic feelings, of course,
Acting just automatically,

Considering all that I said before,
Only theoretically,
Will you forgive me, my only love?
Forgive me just hypothetically?

Purely hypothetically will you —
Purely hypothetically — forgive?
[Wife]
You’re the dearest men in the Universe to me, but…
I will dare to prove some of those ideas wrong
By reminding you about scientific fact,
That all women are monogamous in whole world.
I don’t want to scary you out by that info,
Listen closely to me, my polygamous friend
I will tell you exactly what will happen, before
Such a hypothetical situation comes to the end.

Purely hypothetically,
Imagine a heavy iron pan
That is flying, yes, theoretically,
Straight in direction to your drunk head

Followed by, automatically,
Electric hot heavy steam iron, that
Will simply revoke your ability
Of stay and think analytically,

And, purely hypothetically,
Imagine your new Bi-eM-Double-u (BMW)
And fast ups and downs of baseball but
That’s turning it into a junk for you,

Then picture a slow approach of
A big sharp ceramic kitchen knife
To cut… Sorry, make separation of
Yourself and your famous phallic device,

And, purely hypothetically,
Then you can think of the scene where you
Are lying still in the hospital,
Very upset, sad, and lonely,

While me and my boss are flying away
For romantic vacation, to the tropical bay,
He’d been honest to me for so long…
Purely hypothetically…

Purely hypothetically, my boss…
Purely hypothetically, with me…
[Both]
Isn't it better to be in love
The way it is shown in the poetry,
And faithful forever to your other half,
At least, hypothetically

Purely hypothetically, don’t cheat.
Purely hypothetically, in love
Purely hypothetically, for good.