On The Departure To Terminus 07. 07. 11

Эпиграф:    "...А я не рад теплу, я разлюбил рассвет
Я сижу в темноте, шевелю рукой
И мне кажется что    меня уже нет
Потому что тебя
Тебя нет со мной..."
                Ю. Шевчук

...At the passed futile months of the dark all-pervading
I have lost the last strengths to stay strong and stand tall
And it was not the usual sad half-year of waiting
But my own pointless rash, uncontrollable fall

I've been deeply engrossed by the blackest depression
Sick within my unblessed soul and highly oft drunk
The result of such gloom is the total regression -
My beloved is far gone and my raven star's sunk

Still my call for her flies o'er the lifeless expanses
Every night I remember the passion we had
What regrets, doubts or any unfounded offences
Let her shatter my frail hopes and leave my world dead?

I look into the past with an inner commotion
Who will tell me today was that my doom or not?
Now my dusk mind has not a one joyful emotion
Just the nightmares swarm there like the rhymes with no plot

Though this time is not mine, I don't wait for another
My way's ending and it's not surprising me 'cause
I am no more a poet nor songster, I'm rather
The pale vanishing shade of the man that I was

I see my final station puts in an appearance
I've composed nothing grand and too fast has grown old
So, alas, the fate's broken the lines of coherence
And the pain in my heart never will be consoled...