A Muse And A Curse

                A Muse And A Curse
      (Exhumation of illusion in 3 steps)       
               
                Step 1.

The smoke is curling in the distance
Eclipsing the enchanting glow
With the infallible persistence
The night flies back winged like a crow
The day is done. The heaven's weaver
Is braiding the grim twilight's thread
And here beside the endless river
I stand and watch the dancing dread
In a deranging atmosphere
Embowering my weary soul
I hear the whisper of the seer -
The dark wind reads the sacred scroll
My tears are wept. The wide stream surges
Its doleful voices talk to me
About the Tide of Doom that merges
With the ice violence of the sea
So many years ago a minute
Of suffering has pushed my life
To the infringement of the tenet,
To the atrocious inner strife...
The broken heart, the failed connection...
I mourned beneath the blackened sun
Forsaken by the true affection
My greatest, best and only one

                Step 2.

My sweet impossible illusion
Was sinless, beautiful and fair
She did release me from seclusion
I tried to ease her deep despair
The north's son and the sorrow's daughter
We have destroyed our love too fast
But the reflections on the water
Still keep the pictures of the past
And there - the passion and the magic
Lay as the dewdrops on her palms
Until the rash words - sad and tragic
Break out our tender virgin arms
Much more I want, I need to tell her
But no - today we're far apart
She left me such a lonesome dweller
And I recall all from the start
But in my personal relation
This story's consequence is bad
And this verse is the exhumation
Of my desire - yet not dead
My eyes shall glitter with the fire
Just if somehow will meet with hers
She is the shape my dreams respire,
She is my muse, my faith, my curse

                Step 3.

Alas, the faint remembrance withers
The nature pales and turns to stone
The autumns change into the winters
In which the white moon shines alone
And then - the spring, another season,
The doubts' and the remorse's load
No victories, no faults, no treason
Upon my desert dusty road...
The holy land forever stretches
From the green forest to the shore
And my tormenting spirit catches
The warmth's flows in the raging pour
Over the main the winds are sweeping
Time's running with the rustling waves
But for the youth the pines are weeping
Above the silent ashen graves