Valkyria s song

The silver is my refractory heart,
My liberty spirit is alone.
In my eyes only magical night,
And solder's souls for own.

Refrain:

We are virgins Valkyrias,
In our heart only silver and fire!
Our soul is a crystal of ice,
And passion for us is a big Liar...

I can’t live only for war.
I want to cry!
It hurts my soul more and more!
I can’t  see a loving sky.

A war once more a war,
A clank of  steel swords.
I know it is a cruel law,
And it is heard fight accords.

But I saw you in the fiery disaster,
A flash of  wishes seize me.
But it was a joke of my master,
He knew that we can’t together be.

Refrain:

Valkyrias should be brutal,
Love is not our element.
Women for war are immortal,
This is our assignment.
Virgins we are Valkyrias.

We make a decision of issue of the  war.
And we brings to Valhalla souls of the failed braved solders.
And we cant be weakness, it’s a law. 
   “And my heart became icy-cold,
    And a hot tear became a slice of ice”

My soul is free and I know that we are the law,
And wins stay with  me, on my destiny.
To make a decision issue of the war.

And only a little scar in my soul remained,
And even a fleeting love remaining memory forever...

Refrain:

Valkyrias, virgins, cruel goddesses.
Valkyrias, we are Valkyrias!
Without feelings this is our essence,
We are virgins Valkyrias…
Strength and disasters are our guides.
Valkyrias…


Рецензии
"The silver is my refractory heart" - "серебро - моё больное сердце?" Оо ..... это что?

"Our soul is a crystal of ice" - одна душа на всех?

"And solder's souls for own." - пишется soldier-soldier's. + тут ДУШИ солдата? 1 душа. Soul.
"We are virgins Valkyrias" - валькирии-девственницы? Как фильм "Девственницы-самоубийцы?" Кстати, пишется VALKYRIES (valkyrie,) ну ладно, можно сказать, это подобие латыни, типа, окончание указывает на латинское происхождение.

"I can’t see a loving sky" - артикль лишний.

"We make a decision of issue of the war." - нельзя make decision (если и так, то с предлогом on) Of issue. Solve an issue.

"And we brings to Valhalla souls of the failed braved solders." - we (мы) уже bring, а не brings (3 л. ед.ч.) Braved - не braved, а brave. И, снова, не solders, а soldiers.

"And we cant be weakness, it’s a law" - be weak (слабые), а не weakness (слабость.)

"And a hot tear became a slice of ice" - slice of ice? ))) Это, типа, slice and dice of ice? )) Лёд нарезкой? ))

"And wins stay with me, on my destiny" - а где здесь подлежащее? И к чму относится глагол wins (3 л. ед.ч.)

"To make a decision issue of the war" - опять.

Боевые Колотушки   13.08.2011 20:48     Заявить о нарушении
спасибо,за замечания, стих писала в 15 лет, поэтому присутствуют ошибки, не проверяла)

Ирина Флёр   14.08.2011 00:47   Заявить о нарушении