I looked behind my shoulder

I looked behind my shoulder
And there he was, aloft
Doe-like, his eyes were smiling
Stars, shining bright and soft.

His eyes met mine, amazement
A heartbeat lit his face
His long eyelashes flickered
For not to break the gaze

So on we stared, not cautious
Of crowds, passing lane
And then we widely smiled and left,


And never met again.


Рецензии
Really nice...
over my shoulder?

Беляева Дина   31.05.2010 01:10     Заявить о нарушении
Yes, but then the rhythm would be wrong.
I enjoy inventing my own figures of speech, if i may be allowed to do so as a poet. :)

Дар Ив   31.05.2010 01:19   Заявить о нарушении
It's hard to invent in the other language.
You have to walk the fine line of no falling over into incomprehensible.
It's like translating Mayakovsky's "исперчен"...
:D

Беляева Дина   31.05.2010 01:22   Заявить о нарушении
Yes, but worth trying.
Translating those "inventions" is even harder.
:)

Дар Ив   31.05.2010 01:39   Заявить о нарушении
На это произведение написаны 3 рецензии, здесь отображается последняя, остальные - в полном списке.