I'm trying to understand and I don't know why
But when I'm walking with you together
I see two angels flying in the sky
In shiny days and nasty weather
They look like us - two pretty beings
They are so innocent, so true
And maybe one day, after hundred years
They will be us - just me and you.
My first English poem about love
© Copyright: Ольчик Топоркова, 2009
Свидетельство о публикации №109010300642
Свидетельство о публикации №109010300642
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Olchik,
This is very beautiful. Nice, simple and clean.
One suggestion though... Instead "we are walking with you" use "I'm walking with you" to make sure peaople see a couple, not a crowd :)
Best of luck!
Dina
Беляева Дина 03.01.2009 22:19 • Заявить о нарушении
This is very beautiful. Nice, simple and clean.
One suggestion though... Instead "we are walking with you" use "I'm walking with you" to make sure peaople see a couple, not a crowd :)
Best of luck!
Dina
Беляева Дина 03.01.2009 22:19 • Заявить о нарушении
Thank you,Dina).Thank you for your suggestion! I've changed this phrase, it is really better)
Ольчик Топоркова 12.02.2009 01:52 Заявить о нарушении
Ольчик Топоркова 12.02.2009 01:52 Заявить о нарушении