Autumn, I lost myself in you...

Sometimes people think that writing poetry in foreign languages is easier than in their native-Language...But it's always a challenge to learn foreign language in perfect and greate challenge to produce not just effective but empty rhymed words but something significant and spectacular.Portry IS NOT a game and it's like the Ritz hotel which is available for everybody. Imagination and heart will guide you through this wonderful world.

Good luck,

Романова Екатерина   12.07.2008 01:04   Заявить о нарушении

Thanks a lot, as a matter of fact , I was not asking for advice- it was lots of mistakes in your verse that caught my eye... Well, if you're so sure of yourself - may success attend you... if you follow your own recommendations:))

Леди Гор   12.07.2008 21:40   Заявить о нарушении

Yes, I’m firmly sure IN myself and my recommendations is my own doctrine))
And as a matter of fact - here, in your review, my eye didn’t find any concrete description of my mistakes that you’re talking about… Believe that screaming about nothing is not a good way to establish somebody’s labour and all the more to exalt yourself.
I wish you patience and creative sincerity.))
Katrin R.

Романова Екатерина   13.07.2008 02:20   Заявить о нарушении

Well, If you want me to illustrate my rewiew- here you are! Of course,there is a chance to treat grammar rules with a certain degree of liberty to match with the rhyme and rhythm, but word order is one of the demanding rules to be observed. Any change in it is a case of inversion, and it is not just a random choice.Some combinations are strictly impossible. e.g.:How you were precious for me last day,
It's absolutely impossible to say so. "How precious you were..."is the only possible way.
In a keening charm of your secret faces,
Keening- is it your own invention? Are you fond of Lewis Carroll?

When I was despairing in my own way!
The verb "to despair" belongs to non-progressive type- like many others denoting not action but state and feeling (like, hate, envy...)

I think that's enough to show I'm not pretending just to offend you on my bare word...
I lost myself in your lonely alleys
And deeply fall to the immense valleys,
How you’ll be precious for me the next day,
When I will be proud of yesterday!
Autumn, I lost myself in you,
Autumn - my abyss that may be blue,
For good you’ll be precious for me as today,
Even if I’ll find my genuine way!

Леди Гор   13.07.2008 19:29   Заявить о нарушении