Died the day
but how balmy the evening -
why do you hurry?
----------------
Pavel Nichkov
Died the Day
© Copyright: Павел Ничков, 2008
Свидетельство о публикации №108052900845
Свидетельство о публикации №108052900845
Рецензии
Well, you asked for it...
the day has died
where do you hurry?
"man" sounds really out of place here is if some would say
"куда торопишся, чувак?"
Беляева Дина 01.02.2009 21:44 • Заявить о нарушении
the day has died
where do you hurry?
"man" sounds really out of place here is if some would say
"куда торопишся, чувак?"
Беляева Дина 01.02.2009 21:44 • Заявить о нарушении
Oh,
You are so kind!
The problem is I don't know now what do do with that poem now :)
To delete? To revise?
Ok, let me see.
Anyway, thank you very much!
Павел Ничков 01.02.2009 21:52 Заявить о нарушении
You are so kind!
The problem is I don't know now what do do with that poem now :)
To delete? To revise?
Ok, let me see.
Anyway, thank you very much!
Павел Ничков 01.02.2009 21:52 Заявить о нарушении
Try. Think what you'd like to say and say it differently. Do not get married to your earlier version.
Беляева Дина 01.02.2009 22:11 Заявить о нарушении
Беляева Дина 01.02.2009 22:11 Заявить о нарушении
If I revise the poem, it actually will have two authors :)
Shall we create a joint author's page???
Павел Ничков 01.02.2009 22:30 Заявить о нарушении
Shall we create a joint author's page???
Павел Ничков 01.02.2009 22:30 Заявить о нарушении
You are the author. I'm just a critic.
None of great poets co-wrote with their critics. :)
Joint penmanship worked only for Ilf and Petrov and that was prose.
Беляева Дина 01.02.2009 22:36 Заявить о нарушении
None of great poets co-wrote with their critics. :)
Joint penmanship worked only for Ilf and Petrov and that was prose.
Беляева Дина 01.02.2009 22:36 Заявить о нарушении
Ok, let's see.
It's almost 1 after midnight here... so good bye, my king critic :)
See you!
Павел Ничков 01.02.2009 22:42 Заявить о нарушении
It's almost 1 after midnight here... so good bye, my king critic :)
See you!
Павел Ничков 01.02.2009 22:42 Заявить о нарушении