Газ

 Газ.
 
 Природный газ, добытый
 Где-то,
 По трубам в англию приходит.
 По трубам в лондон.
 
 По районам:
 Центральный... Харроу... И к дому;
 
 В мою квартиру...
 
 Правда, ныне
 Он мне не нужен... Года три уж.
 
 Тряхнул,
 
 Их счётчик испугался.
 Прищелкнул и затих...
 Обидчик...
 
 Ведь он,
 Считает газ без газа!
 С-собака
 Вредная такая.
 Зарядишь фунтами. Глядь;
 Нет их.
 Пенсов пятнадцать в день.
 З-зараза.
 
 Шестнадцать – двадцать
 Отнимает!
 А газ в квартиру не вступает.
 Вентиль закрыт.
 Ни-ни.
 
 Смакует.
 
 Утих та он.
 Да не те дяди.
 Что на газу жируют, гады.
 Уж шлют,
 И шлют,
 
 И шлют... и слали...
 
 Пригорок писем накидали.
 
 Грозят полицией,
 Судами.
 Ой, я им должен. Штраф!
 Орали.
 
 Раз тридцать
 Раздавал ответы:
 Маркизы!
 Мистеры! С приветом.
 
 Ах, не смогу же
 Быть задолжен.
 Газ у меня по предоплате.
 
 На почте заплатить,
 Началом.
 Там аппараты деньги в карту.
 Её, уж в счётчик вставлю
 
 С матом.
 
 Иначе газ не входит! Сваты...
 
 Да где там.
 
 Требуют, придурки.
 Грозят полицией, судами.
 
 От, де, просрочил.
 Проорали.
 
 Что делать! Ум им
 Устранили...
 
 Годами
 Длится эта плесень.
 Терроризируют бандиты.
 Террор, террор.
 
 Террор кругами.
 
 Терпи!
 
 Треплю.
 
 Терпи
 Сатрапа.
 
 ***
 This is not a tax invoice
 Customer Reference Number 820 7233161
 
 POWERGEN
 63712000 0676
 Dr Ru Pillai
 32 Osmond Close
 Harrow
 Middlesex
 HA2 0QF
 
 Amount Due 352.99
 Total (E)
 New Charges
 32 Osmond Close, Harrow, Middlesex HA2 0QF
 Reading Date 23 March 2005
 Meter Number
 1270047
 1270047 1270047 1270047 1270047
 
 Calorific value 39.6750
 Date of Bill: 14 May 2005 Gas Bill
 
 Present Previous Volume kWh Cost Per Charge
 Reading Reading Used Used kWh(p) Amount ()
 2109 E 2098 E 11hcf 351 1.75300 6.15
 0 1.30000 0.00
 2128 E 2109 E 19hcf 606 1.81300 10.99
 0 1.34500 0.00
 2146E 2128 E 18hcf 574 1.93800 11.12
 0 1.43700 0.00
 2152 E 2146 E 6hcf 191 1.86800 3.57
 0 1.48600 0.00
 2161 2152 E 9hcf 287 2.04700 5.87
 0 1.62900 0.00
 Conversion factor 1.022640
 Withdrawn Charges
 Charges withdrawn against bill dated 30 December 2004
 
 Please pay now using the payment slip below.
 Customer Service 0800 052 0346
 We're open 24 hours, 7 days a week.
 Gas meter point reference 3297532107
 Gas Emergencies Call 0800 111 999
 If you smell gas or think that you have a gas leak call National Gas Emergency, 24 hours a day, on the above telephone number.
 Paying by monthly Direct Debit is easy and saves you money.
 For more information call 0800 052 0346.
 
 ChargesGas Vat Rate 5.0% Excluding VAT 53.35 CR
 Charges withdrawnCharges Gas against bill dated 12 March 2003Vat Rate 5.0% Excluding VAT 71.34 CR
 Charges withdrawn against bi!! dated 12 June 2003
 Charges Gas Vat Rate 5.0% Excluding VAT 47.78 CR
 Charges withdrawnCharges Gas against bill dated 06 September 2003Vat Rate 5.0% Excluding VAT 1 7.84 CR
 Charges withdrawnChargesGas against bill dated 06 December 2003Vat Rate 5.0% Excluding VAT 42.82 CR
 Charges withdrawnCharges Gas against bill dated 10 March 2004Vat Rate 5.0% Excluding VAT 76.77 CR
 Charges withdrawnCharges Gas against bill dated 12 June 2004Vat Rate 5.0% Excluding VAT 15.91 CR
 
 53.35 CR
 71.34 CR
 47.78 CR
 17.84 CR
 42.82 CR
 76.77 CR
 15.91 CR
 Charges withdrawn against bill dated 12 October 2004
 Charges…...........Vat Rate
 Gas
 5.0%
 Sub total
 Excluding VAT
 5.51 CR
 5.51 CR 293.62 CR
 
 Total charges excluding VAT Total VAT m 5.0%
 293.62 CR 14.68 CR
 
 ***
 POWERGEN
 This is not a tax invoice
 Customer Reference Number 8207 233161
 Sheet! of 2
 A company of
 26412624
 016093
 
 Dr Ru Pillai
 32 Osmond Close
 Harrow
 Middlesex
 HA2 OQF
 
 kWhUsed
 Cost per kWh (p)
 95hcf 2981
 Conversion Factor 1.022640 877 2104
 2.416 1.921
 19hcf 596
 Conversion Factor 1.022640
 175 3.006
 421 2.390
 Date of Bill: 25 March 2006 Gas Bill
 Charges raised since 31 December 2005
 32 OSMOND CLOSE, HARROW, MIDDLESEX, HA2 OQF
 Gas Charges
 Gas
 Volume Used
 Previous Reading
 Present Reading
 Meter Number
 1270047 Gas
 10/03/06 30/12/05
 2396 E 2301 E
 Calorific Value 39.03529 Gas primary units used Gas secondary units used
 Charges above calculated at rates valid to 10 Mar 2006
 1270047 ' 24/03/06 10/03/06
 Gas 2415 E 2396 E
 Calorific Value 39.03529 Gas primary units used Gas secondary units used
 Charges above calculated at current rates.
 Sub total Discount
 Total charges excluding VAT
 
 Amount Due 525.97
 Charge Amount Total () ()
 21.19 40.42
 61.61
 5.26 10.06
 15.32
 76.93 2.31 CR
 74.62
 
 Please pay now using the payment slip below.
 Customer Service Call 0800 195 5556
 We're open 24 hours, 7 days a week
 Gas Meter Point Reference 3297532107
 Gas Emergencies Call 0800 111999
 If you smell gas or think that you have a gas leak call National Gas Emergency, 24 hours a day, on the above telephone number.
 Paying by monthly Direct Debit is easy and saves you money.
 For more information call 0800052 0346.
 See overleaf for an explanation of how your gas charges are calculated.
 
 -:- Girobank
 Girobank pic Booths Merseyside GIR OAA
 ins
 bank giro credit
 Cash
 Cheques
 
 By transfer from Alliance and Leicester/ Giro account number
 158 208 288
 Cashier's stamp and initials
 /
 Reference
 633126 82072331610
 Amount due
 Credit account number No fee payable at PO counter
 157 8464
 525-97
 8207233161 994
 Signature
 Cheque payable to POST OFFICE COUNTERS LTD
 Date
 Dr Ru Pillai
 National Westminster Bank pic Collection A/C Powergen Retail Ltd
 57-84-64
 Please do not write or mark below this line and do nat fold this counterfoil
 8207233161994 V4241578464 000525979 74 X
 
 ***
 011297
 POWERGEN
 A company of
 26412626
 Dr Ru Pillar
 32 Osmond Close Harrow Middlesex HA2 0QF
 
 Date of bill
 1 July 2006
 This is not a tax invoice
 Sheet 1 of 2
 Any questions?
 Call us on 0800 195 5556
 Call anytime - we are always open
 Account number 8207 233161
 I
 Gas bill
 We sent your last bill on 25 March 2006
 For gas supplied to 32 Osmond Close, Harrow, Middlesex, HA2 OQF
 We have estimated your reading
 Latest gas reading 2472 estimated on 30 June 2006.
 What to do We need your meter reading to ensure you only pay for the gas you use. Please
 read your meter and call us on 0800 195 5556 or visit us at powergen.co.uk
 Please pay 577.59
 Please pay now using the payment slip below. Alternatively, you can find details of our other payment methods on the back of this bill.
 ji
 B
 •-Girobank
 Girobank pic Bootle Merseyside GIR 0AA
 bank giro credit
 158 208 288
 Cashier's stamp and initials
 
 633126 82072331610
 Amount due
 Credit account number No fee payable at PO counter
 577.59
 Reference
 
 8207233161 994 157 8464
 Signature
 Cheque payable to POST OFFICE LTD
 Date
 Dr Ru Pillai
 National Westminster Bank pic Collection A/C Powergen Retail Ltd
 I
 57-84-64
 By transfer from Alliance and Leicester/ Giro account number
 Cash
 Cheques
 
 Please do not write or mark below this line and do not fold this counterfoil
 8207233161994 V4241578464 000577596 74 X
 
 ***
 British Gas
 Home Energy
 
 This card is the property of British Gas Trading Limited
 Anyone finding this card
 is asked to please return it to
 the nearest Post Office.
 Moving Home?
 Please call us a week before your move
 so that we can arrange a meter reading
 and finalise your account.
 sn British Gas™
 —' Home Energy
 
 ***
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