Waiting

3.07.2004

                What shall I do until he comes?
                What shall I have in the world of numb?
                It’s better to do what he said:
                To look for a real guy – he won’t upbraid
                Me with it. So I’ll go and find
                This guy; I’ll be with him… But my mind
                Says: “Stop!”, because it’s occupied
                By thoughts about my true rights,
                Because of my love with my Hobo,
                If although he said… Oh, I don’t know,
                What I can do and I feel bad –
                These thoughts are ancient – now – it’s sad,
                But I have almost no chances…
                It’s hard for my nervous and senses.
                So, now I must realize,
                That he loved me… He was with me twice…
                But now he’s just alone, but he
                Prefers loneliness to anybody and to me.

                I fall into nothing in my soul,
                I know: love isn’t a picture on the wall,
                It’s not a book about Princess and her Knight:
                It’s a thief, who takes away our sleep at night

                Bitterly cold wind blows and blows again –
                Without my dear I feel, like I’m a prisoner in chains.
                These fetters named my loneliness…
                Why did I lose my last chance? –
                No! - I forgot: I’ll have a meeting…
                And no one knows, what will be at the completing
                Moment – I always said it and I’ll repeat once more:
                Nobody knows, about what land the ship’s boy is screaming, when he notices a shore.
                -                May be I won’t burn in fire of unhappy love anew,
                Because he’ll think…he’ll understand… he’ll say again: “EVANS, I love you!”