Unexpected date

It happened, I swear, it wasn't a dream
There was no plan or elaborate scheme,
No major expense, nor emotional fight,
Just passion and love on a short Sunday night.

It started quite plain, same as weekend before.
I woke, I was bored, I was wishing for more.
Hello Sunday morning - my usual blues,
Thank Goodness for pot, rolling puts me to use.

I rolled and I smoked, no need for debate,
I can't be too sure, but I think that I ate.
Got washed, and got dressed, called my Mom in Lachine,
And checked what was left on my message machine.

Hello! This is Cindy! What's doing my dear?
Remember, you met me at Lisa's last year?
And couple of times after that in a bar
You said you would call, my forgetful Makar.

Don't worry I have no intent to complain
Or cause you distress and emotional pain.
Just pick up your phone and give me a ring
We'll talk and catch up, it's a beautiful thing.

I listen, I stare, and I am ashamed
An ignorant man, what a fucking cliche!
Yes, Cindy is right, I should call her this morning
And may be my day won't be so boring.

I dial, I wait, I am praying for luck
No answer, I knew it, I feel like a "SCHMUCK"
I blew it again, I was taking my time
And Cindy got pissed at the ignorant swine.

Forget it, I'll go and roll one more joint
I'm better at that, and besides what's the point?
My weekend is set and secure from strangers
And all that they bring with them - pleasures and dangers.

And as I was having this mental debate
Phone rang, I picked up, now it sounds like fate
I should have been gone, but the day was too windy
And what do you know? The caller was Cindy.

We talk for a while, the usual stuff
I rather enjoy it, we talk and I puff
She called me, it's great, I am flattered and proud
I gather some will and I ask Cindy out.

I tell her: Hey Cin, did you have any food?
I didn't, I say, I was not in the mood
But now I am. You have made me quite hungry
So why don't you join me for breakfast my Darling.

She thinks for a second, she must be uncertain
This cute Russian freak lives behind "Iron Curtain"
But last time we met, I was nice and polite
Long hair, broad shoulders, goatee - quite a sight.

And Cindy accepts, I am flying in heaven
In one that's for flying, I think number seven
And as I am landing, it gets even better
She offers a lift, an escape from my Ghetto.

I burn with excitement, I start to prepare
I trim my goatee and I change underwear
Quick look in the mirror - I'm stout and clean
And feeling quite horny, and ready for Cin.

I killed half an hour by playing and singing
But Cindy arrives and the doorbell is ringing
I run downstairs and jump in her car
Directions are simple, the place isn't far.

Five minutes - we're there, it looks like a circus
All mothers and daughters, all sitting in circles
I'm looking around in a kind of despair
But waitress arrives - finds a table to spare.

We sit and relax, and we order some food
She asks for the pancakes with syrup and fruit
No pancakes! My girl is upset, but she's coping
And settles for waffle with similar topping.

She's easy and cute I admit it with pleasure
I love those qualities, seek them and treasure
To let Cindy go - would be a mistake
I think to myself and I order a steak.

We talk for a while, I study her face
She's beautiful really, I am kind of amazed
She isn't the kind that will burn you like fire
But one that will fill you with quiet desire.

My mouth is doing its job rather well
Believe me; I've got a few stories to tell
And time's flying by, and I'm talking away
The waitress comes back with our food on her tray.

It's time for the feast, I am starving by now
Cin works on the waffle, I'm killing a cow
We almost don't talk, 'cause we're both busy chewing
My steak is so fresh - I can hear it mooing.

We finish together, it is rather cool
I'm stuffed like a turkey, and Cindy is full
I look at the bill, figure out what to give
I pay, and I tip, and we're ready to leave.

The day is quite nice, it is sunny and windy
I'm strolling along with my beautiful Cindy
This girl really can put a smile on my face
And next thing I know, we're back at my place.

I roll and we smoke, Cin is touring around
She laughs at the skulls on my wall that I found
She sees my guitar and she asks me to play
I gladly submit, 'cause I want her to stay.

I sing her a song, and of course it's in Russian
The words don't matter, what matters is passion
And passion I have, she is driving me crazy
Her body, her scent... she is simply amazing.

My head starts to spin, I am drifting away
My doubts and fears are now at bay
I want her so bad that I think I could scream
She can't be for real, it must be a dream.

I feel so shy, I am almost in tears
I'm out of practice for over three years
My mind says - relax, it's like riding a bike
The worst thing you'll hear is - Dude! Take a hike.

My arm moves around and over her shoulder
She doesn't protest - I become slightly bolder
Lean over and forward, I'm praying for luck
And ready for either - a kiss or a smack.

I open my eyes and I clear my vision
It's hard, but I must, I have made a decision
I focus on Cindy, and I am amazed
My lips are two inches away from her face!

Her eyes are so near, I can see my reflection
I scan for a sign of distress or objection
But all of a sudden she kisses me tender
She owns me now, I simply surrender.

I thank you for reading and I hope you had fun
Your story is finished and mine – just begun.
I'll meet you again with a different story
And make it much shorter next time, don't you worry.