When I grow up

When I grow up I’ll get myself a job
To reach the top, to make all doubts clear.
Only like that it’ll come moment to stop.
Only this way I will get rid of fear.

And than it’ll be the time to settle down,
To reflex in the chair, drink coffee, smoke cigars
Regardless current situation in around
Regardless all small possible regards.

I don’t like people, but I’m one of them.
I don’t like money, although I respect ‘em
Your life itself is best thing to condemn
Don’t judge the others, while you’re unprotected.

I’m scared of day, when I’ll go out,
But every story has its big conclusion
I want to cry,  to hit, to scream, to shout
Eternal life, my friends, is nothing but illusion.

It’s time to rest, to stop, to write the book of life
To take all that’s been never said in words
And finish chapter with “I’m still alive!”
To stretch your legs, stand up your death towards.

And put the last page on a shelf.
It’ll come again, it’s taking rounds and rounds.
When I grow up – I’ll kill myself.
To see the bounds.