Introduction. Note So NOT a poem

- Hello, how are you? Me? I am fine. My life is fantastic. It’s getting better and better as days go by. Years even. So many changes, so many surprises. I am surrounded by new technology, which I confess, I do not properly understand but which everybody else seems to. So I go along and pretend. As well?  Hmm, may be. I happily throw into my sentences the words net, IP, URL, browser, modem and feel happy that nobody, just as me seems to have the nerve to admit they do not know what it means, or may be they know? Knowledge of Alt Ctrl Del pressed simultaneously seems to be enough for me in crises. Well, it’s better than calling some sleepless in Seattle technical know-how and trying to explain that in that little thing, another little thing has popped up and my computer has refused to communicate with me in any comprehensible manner. Well, I usually get the same Alt Ctrl Del answer anyway, why bother? Change the user I say, or better get a new laptop.

I walk on the road of cosmopolitancy getting caught in the 22 on my every step and loving it because I was early on explained in no uncertain terms what it is and why it is completely normal and necessary for the society and administration to survive and live happily ever after. Ye, that makes it all better. Never mind, at least there is one called 38, which is awaiting apparently. May be there are going to be others and they are to be discovered in their good time. Ye, that makes it all better. Everybody is so clear, they all try to explain. It has been like that for centuries, but we have never had such abundant means like now. Amazing. We will never run out of things to explain, that’s the beauty of it. Ye, that seems a good legal way forward. I am just so lucky not to be born at a time when everybody would just stop researching and start doing something about it.

Stop blaming genetics, instincts and hormones for everything on Earth and realise that we do actually are in a possession of a brain and of a power to use it. Or do we? How do I know, I am just a voice behind the screen. Who am I to talk? I am happy listening to new explanations about murders, abuse and child molesting. I have so much research to read, moreover, I can take part!

What a great occupation our generation has found – countless reports and research projects will keep us all busy and give us a sense that we have a purpose in this life. Hey, I am happy. I realise, of course, that there is not a hope in hell I can read and absorb all the research available to date. This takes the pressure off, I tell ya. There is no point then. I can just quietly do my own research and accept all the praise for doing so.

Life IS fantastic, actually. So many countries to travel to and feel like this is the biggest and celebrated achievement by all. Well, it was an achievement at some distant past to have tasted various foreign foods. Never mind that now taking a Chinese takeaway home everyday is considered to be a happy occupation enjoyed by spinsters. Heh?But who cares about what will be really valuable for the future to come? As long as I can make loads of money or – like it seems many others have done – win a lottery, I will be just settled, fine indeed.

I will get respect even though I have two words in my vocabulary, (one of them being ‘wicked’ as it is sooo popular nowadays) to spare. Then I can smoke weed, groove to It’s Your Birthday, while knowingly performing all the necessary ritual movements and sprinkle my sentences with the ‘wicked’ word. Ye, that would be wicked indeed.

Good manners, languages of some hated nations by all true British, proper education, who needs these with some free cash to spare. Ye, I’ll get myself some brand new friends with an acceptable expiry date and a likewise necessary vocabulary as well as some knowledge of groovy movements to perform in public.

Oh, and I can always go to college as well. It’s not a real education, so it doesn’t really count. Can always pretend that I am studying while secretly looking through good girls enemy pages (google) for some first-class assignments to copy. Plagiarism?  Don’t make me laugh. Ye, but what am I to do? Stand out from the crowd and make my life difficult (trying afterwards to prove that it is indeed my own and I really cannot recommend the site)? And this is when every self-help book the shelve explains to me in clear concise English language that the key to living a happy life is to do what works for ME. The hell with principles and fellow human beings likewise. 

Stop racism, they say, while abusing the whole race of women equally, from whatever origin they come from. And being proud of it! Oh, well, it’s not really abuse – it’s a normal service consumption. Women get paid for it. Why, maybe there will be some people who would want to be tortured from 9 to 5 Monday to Fridays? May be there is such a service, have to look it up.

Yep, that’s what I shall do. Get a web cam on my computer and start enjoying free cash. Well, its not like its frowned upon. All the good, old-fashioned British Channels are full of documentaries of this glamorous actually profession. Maybe will get myself a celebrity status on the way. I just have to remember to stay clear of my own opinions and exposing the politicians in public (against every rational bone in my body of course) as that’s what seems to get people fired these days.

Oops, just pored a whole can of coke on my board of keys which holds the key to the road of my future success and the proud grins of my family. Well, will have to postpone the plan while earning money some other way to buy a new wonder-machine I guess. Well, I still have a few years left in me – men, as it seems, like anything that’s naked and jumps about on their screen making a bad impression of an orgasm while exposing some unpleasant but highly arousing for some reason parts of their anatomy.

Never mind. Blame the nasty coke-drink that makes my teeth very bad and the lives of some very clever people very rich. Who cares anyway? With all these dentists and plastic surgery going around all over the place. Dentistry is very excelled, you know? They will let you die if you have no money and are on the end of some imaginary list having been struck by some fancy disease. Nonetheless, they will save the good appearance of the teeth of your fish, if you do have some cash, of course. They will even find its teeth for you, if you seem to doubt in their existence. Where there once was water, there must have been teeth, they will say.

Ye, we love being good. The whole country is pretending to care about everyone and everything in the whole world. But understand that: they too want some free cash and celebrity status.

I am happy though. Just look at me and you will find out for yourself. Ye, welcome to my world…