That crimson skies up to the evening...

Иликс
That crimson skies up to the evening
Were magic of another worlds, just it to be...
Oh yes, I knew from the beginning -
It's going to be hard for me,

To dream of you without being needed
And to caress the sky instead of you.
Though...
I do not know how much I would be limited
If I had not those thousands "you".

These "you", they did not even know,
They do not know it presently,
They won't cognize it though the time will flow,
The truth about what they meant to me.

Oh yes, I'm really mad and crazy,
You know, the cult of Silent Love is deep in me.
My road through the life is keen and mazy,
Let's see what next turn is going to be.


© Copyright: Иликс, 2001
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If I may... First, the word "another" is used as a singular adjective; I would suggest to replace it with "some other". Second, "just it to be" is not a native English phrase and therefore carries no ready meaning to the native reader. Suggestion: rethink. Third, "thousands OF you" is proper usage. Fourth, "recognize" is proper usage. Fifth, "road through life" does not need a definite article in this case. Sixth, "what THE next turn" does need it. And finally, seventh, the word "keen" is never used to describe a road, only sense and the like. [I apologize in advance for my somewhat harsh critique.]

С хр.л.и.ув.,
thebogdan

Thebogdan   09.12.2001 08:52   •   Заявить о нарушении
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