Nowhereness

when woodland halls are green and cool, and wind is in the west,
come back to me! come back to me, and say my land is best!
       The Entsong (from LotR by J.R.R.Tolkien, Part II)



see now to the gate
of heaven
the air sinks in me
and i inside it
a demostrative act
of mutual graving
nothing else but flee
and rapidly byside it

it can"t see
and can"t realize
in me
i have to sodomize
beliefs and griefs
and shocking blows…
to what you throws
my tormented body
on giant rusted stakes
and all awakes…

the trembling insides
when a newborn"s born
the conscience glides
inside, like bitter thorn
explodes… she sees the light,
she"s almost through…
but no. the common blight
it made her crew…

she lies and drools, she cannot rise
and see her child alive
demented and of torturous size
her child may only dive
in coldest blood and deepest slime
it cannot be there reached
it"s looking, like a speechless mime,
at mother being besieged

(21 сентября 2000, 22:39)