Любовь посредством Интернета

Написано на английском, поскольку большинство понятий непереводимы на русский. В то же время, данная вещь - исконно русская.

I met you in a newsgroup,
I had to write a paper on economics
For that stupid Dr. Brown’s class.
You told me you’d had the same topic,
And you sent me a copy
It was nearly perfect –
I think I got A-
And B+ for the whole class.

I posted my thank-you’s,
And you replied I was welcome,
So I posted again.
I learned your name was Mary,
And you were 23.
Your posts were always smart and funny,
And your .sig was really cool.

So we just couldn’t stop talking;
About MVA, Java and pet food,
And that latest David Cronenberg’s film.
The thread was going on and on,
Until everyone else got pissed off
And flamed us like hell.

I remember pinging you
In the middle of the night
Just to make sure you were real,
And you fingered me gently in return.

And when I looked @ your smileys,
I could almost see your face;
No HTML-extensions
Could possibly express my feelings.

And I’ll never forget that IRC session,
When I asked if you loved me.
You just logged off that time
And I couldn’t sleep all night,
But the next morning you sent me
Your ZIP-compressed “yes.”

Soon we married in cyberspace,
And when that priest-sysadmin
Asked you if you agreed,
Your server went down.

But I knew I would find you;
I traced back your e-mail
And found your domain
And a link to your home page,
Lost in a myriad of useless junk.

I found your CV and .gif
And all the other stuff.
I learned you were a professor @ MIT,
You were 61, had 85+ publications,
Three grandchildren, two dogs,
And a big grey beard.

Later you mailed me again,
But I never replied,
‘Cause I know my love is dead.
But the life goes on,
And I know what to do:
When I get time and courage,
I’ll call myself Jennifer,
And we’ll be girlfriends.