topless

haven't seen you for years
for a decade and some three .
nor in my night sleep ,
nor in the daylight .
pushed thoroughly
to the backyard of
my mind .

you came to my night .
you were on the bed .
two different beds .
was topless or naked
on my back , down
from my waist covered
with a blanket .
you came to my bed .
you laid on me .
i was floating in the
flow of my thoughts ,
not pushing you as if
it was my plan to wait ,
to see , to understand .
you moved closer and i
felt my breasts touching
your breast , all slow .
didnt feel anything .
emptiness . you kissed .
emptiness . absence .
bodiless . observer .
remember you touching
the palms of my hands .
never did that .
i stood up , said you
have to go .
morning in my day .
see that soul shining
on the melting snow .


you were
the one that gave me
tea .
a big pot 
which made me
wake up far away
from my home
all surrounded
by fake snow
i was crying
i was dying
and you
and you said
go
to work
you knew my brain
is a good money maker
and you
needed
more
winter .

you know
i feel i should
light a candle

sorry , i forgot
the last time .
you are
forever
lost
good
thing
i didnt
seethe
face .
thank
you .