I've forgotten
all the playful things
from my childhood,
and there's not
a single toy
left in sight.
it feels like forever
since I've sat down
to watch a cartoon.
I won't ever again
rush down the hill
on a sled,
make a snowman,
build sandcastles.
mom won't nag me
about losing gloves,
breaking vases,
tearing shirts…
and she won't be telling me,
"Sasha, do your homework!"
the kids next door
won't be calling me
to play football
anymore.
it's weird -
it all used to be there,
but now it's all gone.
I guess I did all those things
for the last time
without even realizing it.