“CONFESSION of a GHOST”
a novel by Alexandra Kryuchkova
in the “PLAYING ANOTHER REALITY” series
34 BEFORE/7 AFTER. HOUSE No. 3
*****WINGED LION*****
***
Somewhere in the Universe
“You won’t believe, it’s sunny there!” the Guardian smiled at the door to House No. 3.
I squeezed my eyes shut and stepped inside. When I opened my eyes, right in front of me, I found a wide-open, rocky-toothed mouth!
“No!” I yelled, clinging to the Guardian, and the mouth immediately shut.
“Well, I’m sorry, I’ve just yawned,” the Lion said calmly. “I’ve been looking forward to see you, and the Sun is baking in full!”
The Lion, not at all aggressive, turned out to be very amiable. He stroked me with the brush of his tail to make me calm down, stretched out his paw and said in a deep voice,
“Actually, I’m a kitten, a big one. Just don’t tell anyone or they’ll stop taking me seriously! House No. 3 is the Sphere of Close Contacts, brothers and sisters, short-term local trips; commerce and business; elementary education and the Word, oratory and literature in terms of writing, not publishing, since publishing is handled in House No. 9. You can pet me, I don’t bite.”
“Where are we?” I asked the Lion, shaking his paw and scratching him behind the ear. “There’s nothing around here, except the Sun baking.”
“That’s right, we are in the desert.”
“Desert? Is it the Sphere of my Close Contacts?”
“For a lonely soul, even any crowd is a desert,” murmured the Lion. “This phrase was read in Heaven and voiced on Earth by Chekhov, the writer.”
“Nice to meet you, Rukh!” flashing a sunny smile, the suddenly manifested Star said. “I am Acubens, or Sertan, according to the astronomer Bayer’s classification of 1603, Alpha Cancri, I correspond to the elements of Fire. I’m a patroness, guiding strange and lonely people, including holy fools, prophets, astrologers and writers. I give the opportunity to penetrate into the World, where the Past and the Future coexist, and to learn something to transfer into reality.”
“Sertan is a magician, a star of revelations and prophecies. She brings surprise gifts in the Sphere of her location!” added the Lion and spread his wings.
“Wow, you are winged!” I exclaimed, and the Lion purred contentedly. “We are in the desert! What kind of gifts are we talking about?”
“In deserts, magical mirages live and revelations are heard. The hermits retreat here to get closer to Heaven,” the Guardian encouraged me. “Sertan has the features of Saturn and Mercury, which is good, because she is in the Sphere of Mercury, the Word. Your words will be a life-giving source.”
“Sertan gives strength to survive in harsh conditions,” said the Lion. “She is also a symbol of the Egyptian scarab beetle, the resurrection of the soul, the source of Eternal Life, which logically complements the Sun, the Higher Self, your life-giver.”
“Wherever I look, there’s the seal of Saturn,” I sighed.
“They call me refuge and hidden place,” Sertan continued. “Experiencing pain, you’ll retreat here and create something spiritual as required by the energy of Saturn.”
“Sertan is clearly expressed in Pope John Paul II and in Michelangelo, who painted the Last Judgment,” the Guardian added. “More often the star promotes people in the field of literature, in the study of stars and in public affairs.”
“Now I’ll tell you about myself,” the Lion purred. “Let’s fly over the desert! Get on my back and hold on tight.”
I grabbed the Lion’s lush mane, the Guardian waved his wing at us, and we took off.
“Do you know why I am winged? I love catchy words. They fly in the air, I hunt and catch them, and then play with them,” said the Lion with a smile. “People with the Lion Zodiacal Sign in House No. 3 are famous for their strength in creative thinking. A wide flight of thought plus imagination and ingenuity is the key to success and self-realization in the field of art. Sphere No. 3, associated with the Word and the ability to express thoughts, is often flooded with light at birth of writers. Lion is a temperamental creature, he leads the masses, has the flame of the Eternal Fire burning, that can ignite others. Knowledge of foreign languages is a plus. A good position for theater and film actors, I have pronounced stage drama skills. Lion needs listeners for self-realization.”
“Are there many listeners in the desert?!”
“The smallest gold coin is the most expensive, although you are interested in the global, since Lion is the king of beasts, and kings don’t think small things. The king generously takes his subjects under his guardianship, so you tend to patronize and help others. Drive away from yourself those who are cunning, running and dodging in every possible way. What do you see there, in the oasis?”
“The Lion King?” I supposed, noticing a strange man in a crown, with a book and a pen in his hands.
“King David, prophet and forefather of Christ. He reigned for forty years and was considered an ideal ruler, although at first, he guided sheep like an ordinary shepherd, but courageously fought with a lion, protecting them. Then David became a brave warrior. He united Israel and returned the Ark of the Covenant, the stone Tablets with the 10 Commandments, to the Tabernacle on Mount Zion, where his earthly 70-year-old body was buried. David planned to build the Temple, but it was his equally illustrious son Solomon who did it. However, possessing eloquence and creative gifts, during his lifetime on Earth, David played musical instruments perfectly, and as a result left an indelible mark as a psalmist. His hymns from the Book of Psalms are still recited in Orthodox churches.”
“Did Solomon write something too?”
“Yes, but I suggest returning to the Lions. In communication, they are straightforward, though domineering and sometimes stubborn. I despise traitors and cowards, but I tend to deify those who give me Knowledge. From the moment of incarnation, the thirst for knowledge will grow in you, as people say, by leaps and bounds, which disposes you to read, but not all that glitters is gold, look for wise books. Travels and new acquaintances contribute to the increase of knowledge and inspiration.”
The City-on-the-Water appeared on the horizon.
“What a beauty! How did it end up here in the desert?”
“It’s a mirage, Rukh, though realistic enough. The City-on-the-Water exists in earthly reality, and you’ll definitely visit it. At least, because I’m its symbol,” the Lion purred, and we descended to the central square of the mirage City and wandered to the main Cathedral.
“It’s all lions here!” I exclaimed.
“The winged lion with an open book is a symbol not so much of Venice as of Mark the Evangelist. His relics were smuggled out of Alexandria occupied by Muslims. The body was hidden in a basket and covered with pig carcasses so that non-Christians, who considered the pig a forbidden animal, couldn’t touch the cargo. Since then, the relics have been in Venice in the main Cathedral. Mark’s mother was a preacher of Christ, believers gathered in their house. As a result, Mark became a disciple of the Apostle Peter, from whose words he wrote the Gospel. Mark founded Christian Church in Egypt, became the first bishop of Alexandria, he is considered the patron Saint of the Copts, Egyptian Christians who called Mark ‘the God-seer’. He died on the way to his execution, having been sentenced by the pagans in 68 AD.”
“Why is his symbol a winged lion and not another animal?”
“Many prophets, including Ezekiel in the 6th century BC, had access to the Subtle World and saw a creature with four faces – the Tetramorph: a man, a lion, a calf and an eagle. The revelation of John the Theologian speaks of 4 separate beings – the guardians of the 4 corners of the Throne of God, the 4 parts of Paradise, later of the 4 elements and East-West-South-North directions. In the 4th century, Saint Jerome substantiated the connection between the Evangelists and their images. Mark’s Gospel begins as ‘A Voice of One Calling in the Wilderness’, which early Christians associated with the roar of a lion. Lion is a symbol of power and omnipotence, and one of the central themes of Mark’s Gospel is the theme of the power and omnipotence of God. People argued about the correct distribution of the Tetramorph symbols among the Evangelists, but it was on Mark that there were no disagreements. Moreover, it was his Gospel that was used by Matthew and Luke when writing their own.”
“So you are the patron of writers,” I smiled.
“Evangelists are patrons of writers. You’ll find the icon of the Four Evangelists on Earth and remember me,” purred the Lion. “Perhaps you’ll remember me earlier, in Venice. It’s no coincidence that it attracts writers and poets, some are even buried on its island-cemetery.”
“Are poets singers of psalms?”
“Poets are writers who express thoughts concisely. In fact, writers are magicians. The word is a great thing, Rukh. It can be used to kill and resurrect, to change Time, events and scripts of Destiny. You can view hypothetical scenarios, having retired to the desert, and then rewrite them, turning the desired chain of events into the right direction with the Word, after which it materializes on Earth.”
“It’s too complicated,” I sighed.
“Lions are enterprising and resourceful, but always lack time,” said the Lion thoughtfully. “Your Sphere of the Word starts in the degree of popularity, fertility, writing talent, foresight. It’s the degree of facing the Truth, ‘a figure with the face covered with a veil, sitting on a rock, points to a brightly radiating Eye in the air directly in front,’ so a stargazer of the Silver Age described this degree. The soul, often alone, is endowed with prophetic power, it’s able to see Another Reality, eclipsed by the crowd.”
***
Library of the Universe
“Did you enjoy the trip?” the Guardian asked, taking a seat in the Reading Hall.
“The Lion is just a big cat. I don’t know which is better, to drown at the bottom of the raging sea or to die of thirst in the desert.”
“The desert is the inner state of your soul. What have you seen?”
“King David and the City-on-the-Water with St. Mark’s Cathedral.”
“Not bad. By the way, King David had a magical seal, which he inherited to his son Solomon, the sign of an eight-pointed star on a ring that has power over the spirits of the Lower Astral.”
“I haven’t seen the ring.”
“It’s for the best, since you are not allowed to practice magic.”
“The Lion said I could rewrite the scripts of Destiny!”
“You are able to read various scenarios of the Future in the Tablets, but you must not violate the Laws of Heaven by breaking the Matrix, like hackers do with IT-programs in order to change the codes within certain areas.”
“I don’t understand. What is the Matrix? How can it be hacked?”
“The Time Space Matrix. For now, remember that the Sun controls your Sphere No. 3 and is the most powerful planet, along with the Moon. Your strength is in the Word, Rukh! A good story is that ‘Cat’s Name’.”
“What name?” I was surprised.
“Alice. So they call cats in some countries. The story is written on behalf of a dog.”
“I have never understood human nature, and probably I will never do. But why people, who, unlike dogs, have the gift of speech, are not able to understand themselves and each other just to be happy?”
*****EVANGELISTS*****
***
Ouranoupoli
“What a joy to be here, on earth, where St. Paisios and St. Athanasius, John the Theologian and the Virgin Mary walked once!” I thought.
To my left, in the shade of the olives, there was a baby carriage. Parents left their daughter and went for swimming. The girl wiggled, and an old woman instantly flew up to her. She started cradling her granddaughter, then turned to me, clearly lacking for communication.
“What would they do without us? We are from Austria. My husband and I have been coming here since 1966. At first, there were no houses in the bay, only in Ouranoupoli. We found this beach. It’s a magical place, isn’t it? When several houses were built on the rock above the bay, we came to stay in the blue and white one. Now we’ve come with our son, his wife and their daughter. Should someone take care of them? And what brings you to Athos?”
“I’m from Moscow. I live in Nicolette’s house during my vacation.”
“I see, vacation! If you need any help, you are welcome!” the old woman said with a mysterious wink and disappeared.
***
“Alice! Well, tell us about Spyridon!” Leah called out to me.
“I gave him slippers, found his ring, but a strange thing happened, he looked at me … looked. With his eyes. I didn’t find it strange yesterday. Now I wonder… the relics don’t have eyes, do they?”
“Let’s see on the Internet what he looks like! By the way, when Gogol was on Corfu during the procession, Spyridon rose in the shrine and looked at him menacingly.”
“Wow!” I said stunned as I looked at the photos. “Until now, on the inner screen, there’s a stream of light from his eye sockets! I left the icon of Spyridon at the pillow for the night. In the morning, oil flowed into my eyes from my forehead and smelled church-like, although yesterday there had been no anointing.”
“A great sign! A monk, icon painter from Mount Athos, came to us and said that the icon that you had taken away would ooze myrrh one day. He brought us the Evangelists, each of them apart.”
We walked along the walls and stopped at the Apostle John the Theologian.
“It’s a pity that the island of Patmos is far from here, 70 kilometers from Turkey,” Leah sighed. “There is no vegetation there, in Greek ‘Patmos’ means rock. At the top of the island, there is the monastery of John the Evangelist, but the cave where the prophecy about the Apocalypse was given is outside the monastery. They dictated for two days, then another ten, John voiced, and his assistant wrote it down. On the icon, the Saint’s finger is applied to his lips as a sign of silence, a seal, the angel asked to keep silent about many things. Usually, John is depicted with an eagle – a symbol of flight of thought and penetration into the Other World. Together with his brother James, he became friends with Peter and the beloved disciple of Christ. Only Peter, James and John saw Jesus praying for the Chalice during the Agony in the Garden of Gethsemane.”
“In Mark’s Gospel, Christ referred to him as the Son of Thunder.”
“One day, he and his brother asked for fire to descend from Heaven on a Samaritan settlement. In the Cave of Revelation, John first heard thunder. By the way, John was very afraid of sailing in the sea, but he was always rescued during storms. At the request of Christ, he took care of the Virgin Mary, and they sailed to Athos together. John was present at the Assumption of the Virgin with the flower from Paradise, received from Her the day before, then went to preach in Ephesus, and was sentenced to death in Rome, but neither the cup of poison nor the boiling oil in the cauldron had any effect. So, John was exiled to Patmos, where he cast out demons and healed pagans, converting them to Christianity. He died in Ephesus at an advanced age, having returned from exile. Shortly before his death, he wrote the last, the fourth Gospel, filling in the gaps left by the first three Evangelists.”
“It is interesting, Leah, that John is the only one of the Evangelists who died a natural death. He asked to dig him a grave, lay down in it, and when they began to fill it with earth, he was already dead. Later, only sandals were found in the grave. Perhaps, like Spyridon, he helps us, still wandering the world in his body.”
“Yes, not Luke, hanged on a tree in Thebes. Luke was an artist. He was the first to paint the Virgin Mary after Her blessing and during Her lifetime. Since then, he has been considered the patron of artists. All his icons are double-sided. It’s also possible to define whether one artist painted the icons or different ones by faces of Saints. I love the miraculous icon by Luke in the village of Nea Roda. Have you seen the Virgin ‘Skoupiotissa’? The icon miraculously survived in Turkey and miraculously didn’t end up in the Athos monasteries. Luke was a friend of the Apostle Paul, and painted Paul with Peter. Luke is depicted on icons with a calf. The main theme of Luke’s Gospel is the sacrifice of Christ for the sake of mankind, and the calf is a sacrificial animal.”
“Does Matthew the Evangelist, as a former tax collector, patronize tax services and accountants?”
“Yes, we say so too. He is portrayed as a man to whom an angel is dictating the Gospel. Little is known about his life, several countries claim to have his relics, but it is believed that the relics of Matthew are kept in Salerno, Italy. In Italy, in Padua, there are the relics of Luke. The relics of Mark, the winged lion, the patron saint of Venice, are in Venice.”
“I have been to Venice many times,” memories instantly flooded over me in a wave, and I was mentally transported to Piazza San Marco, but Leah brought me back to Athos.
“John the Theologian is closer to me. He set foot on the land of Athos. You know, I remember from Luke’s Gospel, once they met a stranger who cast out devils on behalf of Christ. The Apostles forbade him to do that, while John doubted whether it was right to forbid. Jesus said to John, ‘Don’t forbid, for whoever is not against you is for you’.”
“It’s an interesting phrase,” I agreed and, having looked out the window, saw the same Monk watching the icons in Janis’ shop, and I got scared.
***
Nea Roda
One couldn’t reach to Nea Roda on foot, but it costed only 1.80 euro to get there by bus from Ouranoupoli. A village near Ouranoupoli, Nea Roda was located just beyond the port of Trypiti, the previous border with Athos, at the narrowest point of the peninsula, where, if desired, one could swim in the sea on both sides.
On the way, the luxurious Eagle’s Palace, where the sheiks used to rest, appeared on the left. A little later, on the right, the five-star Alexandros Palace showed up. I had been in vacation with my son there, and we walked to Nea Roda across the fields along the rural path. I didn’t know then that a unique miraculous icon was kept in the village.
Once I lived on Athos in winter, a period of timelessness – it rained, the shops were closed, all cafes disappeared, as if they hadn’t existed there at all, there were no people on the streets, just cats occasionally. Ouranoupoli was a village of cats and Nea Roda – of dogs. Ouranoupoli used to wake up on Epiphany, celebrated at time of Christmas on Mount Athos. The village went on a religious procession to the pier, from which, after the priest’s prayer, the cross was thrown into the sea, boys dived after it, who was the fastest? Then the priest visited each house and sprinkled it with holy water.
At that time of Christmas and Epiphany, I asked Dimitra to take me to Nea Roda to see the miraculous icon. We arrived at closed doors. Dimitra was looking for the priest by phone, I turned to the Virgin Mary, mentally imagining Her icon, and instantly received an answer to my request, which came in the form of a text phone message from the right person, while Dimitra said that the priest had left and would appear in Nea Roda only the next day. Of course, I came again. The priest opened the church for me, and we spoke a little in English. Before returning to Moscow, I asked Dimitra to give my little gift to the Virgin Mary’s icon, a gold ring with sapphire and diamonds, which I had been wearing for a long time without taking it off. The priest hung it on the chain attached to the icon.
I came there again that day. The church fence was closed. I went to the corner chapel, where one could light a candle and pray at any time of the day. Then I decided to walk along the shore street with cafes, since there were no shops in Nea Roda. I sat down on the shore and watched the horseshoe-shaped peninsula wrapping the sea around. The Sun was no longer hot, preparing to leave for the night chambers. Seagulls were fishing. Children were having fun on the beach. Suddenly, someone sat down next to me.
“Ray? You?” I exclaimed.
“The border ran along Trypiti, so I’m allowed here. Are you hungry?”
“No.”
“What date is it today? Do you know?”
“Ray, am I sleeping?”
“You don’t sleep at all, or… all you do is sleeping.”
“Where am I now?”
“On the Stairs. Do you remember, Archimandrite Ignatius personally gave you a book about the Stairs as a gift from Athos? And the hand-painted icon. You were the first to order it.”
“Ah! Right! I ordered the Stairs. Was the icon painted then? Anyhow, now I’m in Nea Roda, I’ve come to…”
“Of course, that’s right. Ask to get your memory back to let you finish something.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Once you asked to erase your memory, since you were afraid of the pain that could make you exit life. The request was granted, but your life turned into Hell, and …”
“It’s nonsense!”
“Remember, Alice, or you’ll never get out of the trap. Once you helped me, and I’ll definitely come to the Court to pay my respects, but …”
“What court?”
“When one’s soul leaves the earthly body, all who knew the person alive receive a telegram. If desired, everyone can come to the Court to witness the good and evil deeds of the deceased. Of course, the Guardian Angel recorded everything, nothing can be hidden, but if some soul willingly decides to support you in the Court, this counts as an extra plus.”
“Are you saying that I…”
“Exactly, and the Judgment is already underway! You merge so strongly with your Past that it seems happening here and now. Waking up, you notice strange things, something that is not the same as it was then. Try to step aside! Imagine that you are watching a movie about yourself. You are not inside the screen, you are in front of it, and the true reality will show up in all its glory. The character of the movie doesn’t see the one who is watching the movie from the outside.”
“Does anyone come to say about me?”
“Yes, but they haven’t arrived at the main point yet. It’s highly advisable to finish before the 40th day something that you have not. I just want to help you.”
“Just? You’ve never done anything for nothing!”
“If you arrive in Heaven, you’ll pray for me, and I’ll feel better. Go to the church, Alice. God loves you.”
I returned to the still closed fence, but an old man came out of the church. Having noticed me, he opened the door and gestured for me to come in. I slipped inside, there was no one and no lights were on. The miraculous icon had been moved closer to the altar and installed on the left. I came to “Skoupiotissa” and noticed my ring hanging on a chain among other offerings. I didn’t remember how long I stayed there. As if awoken, I listed the names of my acquaintances in the memorial note, dropped the coins into the donation bowl, and headed to the bus stop to return to Ouranoupoli in time for a family dinner with Dimitra at “Kokkinos”. Each my visit, she invited me to one of the local restaurants.
***
Ouranoupoli
“Kokkinos” was a year-round restaurant on the main street of Ouranoupoli near the icon shop of the same name, where the Greek woman Effi sold the cheapest hand-painted icons.
“Where do you usually have dinner?” Dimitra asked.
“At ‘Eucalyptus’.”
“I know the owner, he’s a good man!”
Dimitra divided all people into exactly three categories: good, bad and toxic.
“What do you prefer there?” asked Roula, Dimitra’s cousin, joined us instead of Dimitra’s daughter Sophia, who had to work late at “Sketes”.
“One evening I eat seafood salad, the other – chicken, and no dinner every third day.”
“Alice feeds on the Holy Spirit, like monks,” Dimitra’s husband smiled.
“Is that why some monks are as full as barrels of wine?” Dimitra laughed.
The waiter brought the menu. Dimitra, as usual, ordered different seafood dishes so that everyone could try everything. Roula looked at me mysteriously and asked,
“Do you believe in miracles? Dimitra says you are a writer. Perhaps my story will be interesting for you.”
“Writing is a hobby for the soul. I believe in miracles, of course! All life is full of miracles!”
“Great! So … 30 kilometers from Thessaloniki, in a field where there is not a tree in sight, there is a chapel called ‘The Wandering Virgin Mary’, built by the gypsies at the request of the Virgin Mary, appeared to them at that place. The chapel is open 24 hours a day, there are no priests in it, but there is a small miraculous icon inside and a bell at the entrance, so everyone can call Heavens. Traditionally, women’s clothes, shoes, candles and lamp oil are brought to the chapel for the Virgin Mary. Sometimes, passing by, my husband and I also stop there to visit the chapel. When I was pregnant with my son, who is now thirty years old, I asked the Virgin Mary for a successful birth, and after the birth of my son, we gifted a dress and shoes to Her. Once, when my son was about four years old, we went to visit the Wandering Virgin Mary, and my son started ringing the bell. We asked him to stop, but he was very naughty. Suddenly, a beautiful but no longer young woman appeared at the door of the chapel. She smiled, and the son immediately sat down on the bench. The woman sat down nearby and said that she loved that chapel, sometimes she took clothes there and prayed for those who had brought the clothes. We said goodbye to the woman and returned to the car. Suddenly, my husband got concerned and said, ‘Why do we leave her in such an endless field? We should give her a ride! We haven’t even asked where she lives!’ I told my husband to go back to the chapel and take the woman with us. But… she wasn’t there. She disappeared! That field is so wide that it’s impossible to go away unnoticed! And during the time we had walked to the car, she couldn’t have gone far enough to…”
“The Virgin Mary?” I exclaimed.
“Better tell us, Alice, how was your trip to Nea Roda!” Dimitra was clearly eager to turn the conversation into the patriotic field.
“I remember it small, a few streets long. Now it’s a town!”
“Exactly! The government pumps so much money into it that nothing is left for our Ouranoupoli! They dream of turning it into a major resort. Even an animation theater, like in Turkey, is being built!” Dimitra was very passionate about Ouranoupoli. “We are on the border with Athos, we’ll survive on our own. Have you paid attention if their streets are probably licked out there, and there is no rubbish along the roads? I called Nicolette’s husband, who is our mayor-like, and asked him to send street cleaners, because the Assumption is coming! And he was told in Ierissos that there were no workers! There is no one to clean the streets here, while they shout, ‘There is no work in Greece!’ Here it is! A lot of work! Yes, one can’t earn as much money for cleaning the streets as at the Gold-Mines. And the other day, not far from Skouries, they found a mutant fish!”
“Not a mutant, just a poisonous fish,” said Dimitra’s husband.
“This fish was forbidden to be caught and eaten! The sea is like blood! One toxic substance fell at the legs, and in an instant it turned out to be in the head! Go to the cemetery in Ierissos, it’s the closest to the mines, and the dates will tell you everything! We have never got such rate of oncology!” when it came to gold miners, Dimitra was unstoppable. “People who participated in protest rallies were imprisoned and dispersed with gas! The new government promised to close the mines, and after the elections they fell silent! The works are going on, and next summer… Imagine, all three peninsulas are poisoned! The bees are poisoned! And olives! No olive oil, no water! At the first earthquake, here it is, the Apocalypse! We trust you what we don’t tell outsiders, Alice. You know what is happening now on Athos, and the amount that monastery sold its territory in Skouries to these murderers! They weren’t embarrassed that Athos would perish! Money rules the world, not God, God forgive me!”
“God sees everything,” I sighed. “You live in the bosom of the Holy Mountain, the Garden of the Virgin Mary. Do you believe in miracles? I’m sure that at least twelve hermits on Mount Athos keep tirelessly praying for the whole world, and the Virgin Mary, wandering around her Garden, appears at the call of the ringing bell even in an ordinary field! Anyway, even if the Gold-Mines win, when we have nothing left except our memory, we’ll return to those days and fragments where and when we felt good. I’ll definitely come back here, in Ouranoupoli, on Athos.”