Dark Tower. PS. A letter from Astral Tablets

Àëåêñàíäðà Êðþ÷êîâà
"TALES OF GHOSTS"

about Love and Death from the Land of Mists
a collection of short stories
in the “Playing Another Reality” series

"DARK TOWER"

P.S. A LETTER from the ASTRAL TABLETS

«Hello, my dear friend, Pavel Fedotovich!

Your enthusiasm for Theosophy made me somewhat confused. I am not going to lie, I would not like to delve into the Other World and take part in spiritualistic sessions. Perhaps I am too old for that. However, taking into consideration the fact that the trip to India is already settled for you, I do not dare to dissuade you from such a dangerous affair and wish your expedition a successful completion.

In your last letter, you were so frank to tell me the amazing story from your life, which, one way or another, led you later to the Theosophical Society and a careful study of the literary works of Mrs. Helena Petrovna Blavatskaya. I can’t help admitting that your story touched me to the core. You ask me if I believe in ghosts. Let me answer you with the same frankness by telling you a story from my long past, which I kept secret.

As you remember, my friend, we had a large estate. My father, a cruel, arrogant landlord, considered the peasants soulless and obliged to fulfill any of his whims unquestioningly. He severely punished them for wrongdoings, and they were afraid of him. I was afraid of my father too and tried to communicate with him as little as possible.

My mother had long since fallen ill and was slowly dying. Knowing the impending loss that I would have to endure at such an early age, everyone in our house tried to keep silent about her health so as not to upset me.

At that time, one of the maids, Lisa, became my best friend. She was twenty-five and I was only fifteen, but there was no one else in the huge estate with whom I could have a heart-to-heart talk. In the evening, we used to wander in the woods, that surrounded the estate, and confided our secrets to each other.

I remember that day well, even though so many years have passed. I woke up early in the morning. Lisa had cooked breakfast. She tried not to look me in the eye. As she set the table, her hands were trembling and her voice was betraying excitement. I suddenly realized that the worst had happened. Throwing on my shawl, I ran to the second floor and opened the door to my mother’s bedroom. My father was sitting on her bed, crying silently. I immediately ran out of there, being frightened. I did not want to see anyone and wandered through the forest for a long time, listening to the birds singing. I remember neither how much time passed, nor the way I ended up at a distant abandoned pond, but I sat down on a bench and suddenly noticed Lisa. She had followed me. I threw myself into her arms…

In the evening, when it got dark, I couldn’t sleep, thinking about our future life with my father. Suddenly, his drunken voice, shouting something to the servants, was heard. Then I heard Lisa’s excited voice. A door slammed somewhere upstairs, and everything went quiet.

I felt very lonely, so I decided to talk to Lisa. I left my room, went upstairs and did not hesitate to open the door to her room. The picture I saw horrified me. My father was kissing her… I froze, unable to say anything or to scream, and wept silently, slowly sliding down the wall. My father threw Lisa away like a doll, and she rushed to me, fell to the floor and kissed my feet, saying, «Kill me, Maria!»

Like my father, I threw her hands away from me, stood up abruptly, ran downstairs and locked myself in my room. In the morning, my father woke me up, but I did not want to see either him or anyone else.

In the afternoon, I decided to look for Lisa, and she was nowhere to be found. None of the servants had seen her since morning. A few days later, Lisa was found. She had drowned herself in that very abandoned pond. However, until today, despite the passage of so many years, I think it was me who killed her…

So I lost both my mother and Lisa at the same time. It was a tough test. Anyway, they appeared to me neither in my dreams nor in reality.

My father lost his mind. Shortly before his death, I spoke with him. He said that for several nights in a row, he had been haunted by two ghosts, my mother’s and Lisa’s. I did not dare to argue with him, but, unlike most people, I did not believe in the afterlife.

However, it was that night when I saw the ghosts of Lisa and my mother. I wanted to talk to them, ask for forgiveness, but they silently laughed and disappeared, waving their transparent hands at me. Although I cannot guarantee that such a fleeting vision was a reality and not an ordinary dream.

Certainly, my dear friend, Pavel Fedotovich, in my life, there have been also other inexplicable cases related to those who passed into the Other World, but I should confess to you that most of all I have always been concerned about the relationship of living people, because it is what turns some of us into ghosts.

Anyway, don’t get angry at me! I have been frank enough with you. I hope, as before, for your friendly disposition. Keep me informed about the expedition, and remember I am always glad to hear from you, even if it concerns the ghosts again.

(<… illegible…>)

M.A. (<… illegible…>)

April 13, 1883»

P.S. The letter was found by the author of the book in the Astral Tablets on April 13, 1994. Underscores remained as in original.