Is my path right or wrong?

Екатерина Передереева
Is my path right or wrong?
do I represent dark forces or light?
I am tired of asking myself - why
I am always in search, torturing flesh.

If I could I would laugh all the time.
Well, at least smile more often than now.
I would be sincere , would't hide
what there is really on my exausted mind.

I am afraid  they'll see
how cinic I am in real life.
That my words are not true , but lies.
and my way is only a game.

I am constantly trying to think
My poor deeds are laying on scales.
Will they execute me for being frank?
I'd better be silent again.