that i would speak
that i would be myself
that i would hide myself no more
i cannot fathom...
whoever made the rules
did not proscribe
the sabotage of hopes and expectations
i suddenly remember many things
that were. many years ago...
the raw and naked autumn
the world i can't hold out against
how i would find myself
how i would fall apart
to shards, to pieces. but
to be among the living...
i remember